There very well may be a crisis in masculinity, but the call is coming from inside the house. (Sofi is writing this piece in response to our recent coverage Is it time for a Spice Boys revolution? and Celebrating masculinity isn’t toxic, or anti-equality).
We are witnessing significant shifts in gender dynamics today, and with that comes a lot of confusion, fear, and blame.
But to truly understand the crisis some say masculinity faces, we need to start by remembering where the calls for women’s rights and feminism began. We need to remember how the patriarchal conditions that necessitated feminism still exist, which is why the work of women’s rights and equity remains unfinished.
Many women still face inequality at work
Feminism emerged as a response to deeply entrenched inequalities. Around the world, many women still struggle for autonomy, agency and the freedoms feminism promised decades ago. Sadly, we still have countries that have labour laws restricting the kind of work women can do.
The global gender pay gap remains stubborn, with women earning on average just 77 cents to every dollar earned by men and projections estimating it could take over a century to close this gap fully. Ironically, amidst all these figures, the very small steps the world takes collectively, year on year, to advance the liberation of women are often seen as attacks on masculinity and men.
But what about men?
In 2019, I ran an event for International Men’s Day. It was a response to a cry I heard in March of every year: “But what about men!”. It was a way to tell the men I worked with that they matter, that they are seen and that the issues they face in this modern world do not go unnoticed.
A guest speaker came on, and he spoke passionately about growing in a male oriented society, about language and vocabulary that defined what a “man” is and does.
Then he uttered the words: “toxic masculinity”. I was watching the attendance online, as a good moderator would, and noticed immediately a 30-40% drop in attendees. It wasn’t lunch hour, there was no logical reason for people to drop off so abruptly.
You lost me at “toxic”
Once the event was over, a colleague texted me to say: “you lost me at toxic masculinity; there is nothing toxic about me being a man”. Another colleague sent a long letter stating that he, and others, felt that men were not celebrated enough and it turned him off.
Toxic masculinity remains an issue and has given birth to what is now called “The Male Loneliness Epidemic” and its bastard child, the “Manosphere”.
Yes, there are challenges that men continue to face, and these challenges are rooted in a patriarchal system that was designed to advantage men in the first place. The discomfort some men feel is less about women moving forward, and more about the old systems they thrived in beginning to crumble.
As society pushed for gender equity, whether in pay, representation, or health, few paused to recognise how these patriarchal roots shaped our communication, media, workplaces and education systems.
Boys don’t have essential tools
Boys and young men have often been left without the emotional tools, social skills or frameworks needed to navigate today’s complex world of social media, evolving gender roles, and increasing mental health challenges. Instead of examining this gap, we often hear calls to halt progress for women so men can “catch up.” Such a stance risks reversing hard-won gains and fuels resentment rather than solutions.
The rise of movements like #MeToo demanded emotional awareness and vulnerability from men, yet many withdrew out of fear. This was often due to the fear of saying the wrong thing or being “cancelled.”
This withdrawal has pushed some men into echo chambers like the manosphere, where toxic role models flourish, perpetuating narrow, harmful ideas about what it means to be a man. These distorted images of manhood deeply influence younger generations, creating cycles of confusion and isolation.
Ignoring the intersections
It’s also important to remember that these conversations are often trapped in a binary frame, ignoring intersectional and LGBTQ+ perspectives. We still operate in a world designed for heterosexual, cisgender norms, which excludes many lived experiences.
Moreover, the persistent undervaluing of care work, which women disproportionately bear, adds another layer of inequality. Men could and should share this responsibility, but statistics worldwide show many don’t take up available parental leave, nor do they step up for care duties for the elderly and disabled in their families and communities. This all reinforces outdated gender norms rather than evolving them.
And before anyone comes for me in the comments, I know it is not all men – and I know that I am painting with a sweeping brush – but the figures and data reflect my argument.
Dangerous time in history
This moment in history is a dangerous one. We see the rollback of women’s rights globally, from reproductive justice to calls for a return to ‘trad wives’ and outdated gender roles. Men need to rise to the challenge to lead with vulnerability, emotional intelligence, and openness and not retreat into fear and blame. Because when women thrive, society as a whole thrives.
Social media amplifies simple narratives and quick fixes, but the realities of feminism, DEI, and equity are complex and multifaceted. Men feeling pain in this evolving landscape need to engage with these complexities rather than demand progress stall.
So, rather than framing masculinity as a “crisis” caused by feminism or women’s progress, let’s recognise it as a moment of transformation. Men have the chance, and the responsibility to evolve beyond the systems they inherited and build a future where all genders can flourish.
About the author:
Sofi Musleh is a seasoned Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) global strategist with over 18 years of experience spanning corporate, public, and non-profit sectors. She has worked extensively in developing and executing L&D, HR, Employee Relations and Engagement and DEI strategies for multinational organizations such as Novartis, Sodexo, and DocuSign, ensuring alignment between diversity objectives and broader political and organizational goals.
A recognised public speaker and thought leader, Sofi has delivered TEDx talks and contributed to high-profile policy discussions on DEI, intersectionality, and inclusive leadership. She serves on the Board of Directors for The Complex Art Centre as well as European Movement Ireland, and previously was a board member for the Irish charity, First Light.
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