Trigger warning: this article contains references to infertility, miscarriage and bereavement.
A yoga teacher once told my class that ‘we are human beings, not human doings’. Far from just being a cog in the work machine, we all have lives beyond work. Sometimes we want to share that with work colleagues, sometimes not. But to manage employee wellbeing, it’s important to consider what could be happening both inside and outside of the workplace, even if employees don’t want to speak about their own circumstances.
Why wellbeing support must include both parents and non-parents
For parents, juggling everything from two-year old temper tantrums, to losing confidence when returning after maternity leave, or worrying all night about their teenager’s latest mood, they may not want to share these challenges, for fear of being judged. Likewise, non-parents may be afraid to say ‘I have a lot on my plate’, as society says that can’t possibly be true, unless you have children. It can.
These factors can affect an individual’s wellbeing, and feeling unsupported at work can make it worse. Organisations don’t need to know every personal challenge to support wellbeing, but they do need to create an inclusive environment that works for everyone; parents and non-parents alike.
But there aren’t many non-parents, so does it matter?
You may be tempted to focus on supporting the wellbeing of parents in your workforce, believing that there aren’t too many others. However, non-parents are an integral part of the workforce, and increasingly there are more of them. In the UK, 1 in 5 women remain non-parents permanently and Noon organisation’s research found that almost a third of professional women aged 45-60 have no children (60% childless/40% childfree).
It’s also not as simple as ‘parents’ or ‘non-parents’. The reality is there are far more sub-categories; parents of biological children, parents of foster or adopted children, CFBC (Child Free By Choice), CNBC (Childless Not By Choice), those using IVF, grieving parents, women suffering miscarriages, men supporting partners with this, almost parents who have had an adoptive process fall through, menopausal women saying a final goodbye to their fertile years, solo parents, step-parents through divorce or bereavement, or those who are as yet undecided. It is important to consider them all when creating an inclusive workplace.
Understanding the full spectrum of parental status at work
You likely don’t know the exact make-up of your workforce, and you don’t need to; the key is to ensure inclusivity and fairness whatever your employees’ parental status might be. Small changes can make huge differences to this EDI issue, and are a great way to attract and retain a wide range of talent. This could include:
1. Why inclusive wellbeing policies benefit everyone
Build a golden thread throughout your policies and procedures. For example, does your bereavement policy cover miscarriage?
If you have a policy which helps those having fertility treatments, include support for if that treatment doesn’t work.
2. Where workplace policies unintentionally exclude non-parents
Policies protect both the organisation and employees. ResumeLab research found that 74% of respondents believed parents receive better treatment than non-parents, and 87% believed working parents receive more benefits, citing issues such as non-parents being denied leave, asked to work more overtime, given heavier workloads, and parents being prioritised for flexible working and leave. While US-based, similar experiences are widely reported in the UK.
The Employment Rights Act has tightened rules around flexible working, but if flexibility is used to widen talent pools for parents, it must also be available to non-parents for workplaces to be truly inclusive. It supports many needs beyond parenting, from women managing IVF at home and partners supporting them, to menopausal women coping with hot flushes, fatigue and emotional change. For these groups, flexibility and mental-health support can be just as vital as they are for parents managing school runs or foster carers responding to emergencies.
3. Listening to non-parent voices in your organisation
Are you listening to non-parent voices? Whether that’s through staff forums, ERGs, EDI groups, Wellbeing forums etc. If you start listening to this voice, you’ll know what adaptations may need to be made. For example, you could be told that your benefits packages are parent-focused and need to be more inclusive, or the ‘family fun days’ or bringing in newborns, are difficult for those who are CNBC, where the ability to work from home that day, would benefit those who find it hard, without penalising those who enjoy it.
How HR and managers can create inclusive wellbeing cultures
Organisational policy is one thing, seeing it through is another. HR and Managers need to create safe environments, where teams feel they will be heard and not ridiculed. Creating this psychological safety often comes down to treating situations with sensitivity, good communication, and considering the impact of use of language.
Often those without children will be asked, at times incessantly, why they don’t have children. Nobody has to justify or explain their life choices and not everyone has the same interests or life goals. Instead, if you can create a space for people to communicate openly, but not intrusively, and understand each other, this helps. Not just a sense of belonging, but team morale and performance as a result.
Avoiding assumptions about career ambition and life choices
Data tells us this sense of belonging is what makes teams strong, high performing, and well-oiled machines, where individuals feel a connection. Further enhance this by ensuring you take a fair approach so that one group doesn’t feel it is being pitted against another.
It’s also important to not make assumptions about career aspirations, or development needs, based on life choices outside of work. A non-parent isn’t necessarily ruthlessly career-driven and ambitious, as much as a parent may have huge career ambitions. Talk to them and ask what they want and need.
As with most things in the workplace, a co-ordinated approach between HR, managers and employees, with strong communication and due care and understanding of everyone’s views, will see dividends for the individual, the team, and the whole organisation.
About the author:
Caroline Green, RCDP, Assoc. CIPD, is an award winning career and talent coach and consultant. She is also an author of The Career Confidence Toolkit for Women (a guide for Coaches, CDPs and HR Professionals). She delivers coaching, training and retreat days to help women build their confidence and to support organisations to develop their staff and build inclusive workplaces, including for women without children.
Book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Career-Confidence-Toolkit-Women-Professionals/dp/1911724819
Website: https://www.thetalentcycle.co.uk/
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