One of my first jobs after university was working on a leadership development programme. I coordinated the events and attended as a participant evaluator. At the end of each course, we held a feedback session. Each participant wrote ‘plus’ and ‘minus’ at the top of their flip chart. The group then gave feedback, and the individual assigned each comment to whichever column they felt was appropriate. We were encouraged to be supportive, but also thorough and constructive and not to hold back.
All suitably terrified, we began.
“You’re thoughtful,” said one delegate to the first volunteer.
She paused, picked up her pen and wrote ‘awful’ in the minus column.
A collective gasp. A hurried clarification. She had misheard. The feedback was positive, thoughtful, not awful.
But that moment lingers. Because many of us can imagine being that person. Expecting criticism. Bracing for it. Why are we so quick to assume the worst of ourselves and that others see us that way too?
There are many reasons. Evolution wired us to look for threat. Modern life amplifies comparison. ‘Compar-it-on-itus’ as I call it; constantly measuring ourselves against others and finding ourselves lacking.
For women in the workplace, this tendency can be even stronger, and it has real consequences for mental health and wellbeing. In interviewing 23 women for my book, The Career Confidence Toolkit for Women, one theme came through powerfully: women internalise. They turn feedback inward. They question their capability before questioning context. They carry this noise quietly, internally, heavily.
That is why psychologically safe environments are crucial. If women are already predisposed to internalise doubt, organisations must work harder to create spaces where it feels safe to speak openly. From employee feedback groups to one-to-one conversations with managers, women need genuine opportunities to voice concerns, ideas and ambitions and to know they will be heard with respect.
There are practical, tangible steps employers can take to do this and support women’s wellbeing and confidence.
Rethinking the foundations
Supporting women’s wellbeing is not about grand gestures. It is about examining the everyday workplace experience and ensuring there are no gaps.
Recent developments such as enhanced employee rights legislation aim to bridge some of these and improve working conditions for everyone, but several areas are particularly pertinent for women. Menopause support plans, meaningful gender pay gap reporting and flexible working arrangements are not simply policy additions, they are wellbeing interventions.
Flexible work can be critical in enabling women to balance work and life in a way that is sustainable. Transparent pay reporting signals fairness and accountability. Clear menopause support acknowledges a life stage that has too often been ignored in workplace design.
And sometimes the gaps are even more fundamental. One woman I interviewed described working with a construction company that did not provide female changing facilities. It may seem basic, because it is. Yet the absence of something so essential directly affects wellbeing. It sends a message about who was considered when the environment was designed.
These oversights are far less likely when women are included in conversations about workplace policy and design. When organisations actively listen, women will highlight needs others may not see. Getting the foundations right is not complicated but it does require intention.
Feedback
Few things influence confidence, and therefore wellbeing, more than feedback.
Yet many women report receiving feedback that is vague or personality-driven: “Be more confident.” “You need to speak up.” “Don’t be so emotional.” In contrast, their male counterparts are more likely to receive specific, goal-oriented guidance linked to measurable outcomes.
The impact on wellbeing is significant. Ambiguity fuels self-doubt. Conflicting advice creates mental overload. Women can find themselves working harder, yet feeling less certain.
Clear, evidence-based and actionable feedback reduces unnecessary rumination. It shifts development from guesswork to growth. When expectations are transparent and consistent, confidence has space to build.
Inclusivity
When we talk about supporting women, we must be careful not to narrow the definition.
Not all women are mothers. Around one in four women in the workplace do not have children, whether by choice, circumstance or not by choice. Yet workplace initiatives, particularly around International Women’s Day, can sometimes lean heavily into motherhood narratives. While celebrating and supporting working parents is essential, women without children can feel invisible on a day intended to champion all women.
True inclusivity means broadening the conversation. It means recognising diverse ambitions, experiences and definitions of fulfilment.
Intersectionality also matters. Race, sexuality, disability and other factors can compound workplace challenges. For some women, barriers are layered and more complex. Inclusive wellbeing strategies ensure these voices are represented, not only in events and awareness days, but in everyday policies, progression opportunities and decision-making forums.
Mentoring and sponsorship
As organisational seniority increases, female representation often decreases. That imbalance can feel isolating. Without visible role models or advocates, it becomes harder to see a path forward.
Mentoring provides guidance and reassurance. Sponsorship goes further, it ensures someone is advocating for you when you are not in the room.
In my research, it was clear that the gender of a mentor or sponsor mattered less than their commitment to active support. Women benefit enormously from having someone (male or female) who believes in their capability and is willing to champion their progression.
For organisations serious about supporting women’s wellbeing and confidence, mentoring and sponsorship are not optional extras. They are practical, powerful tools that counter isolation, strengthen belief and open doors.
If women are already predisposed to hear ‘awful’ instead of ‘thoughtful’, workplaces must consciously counterbalance that narrative. When organisations build psychological safety, get the foundations right, deliver fair feedback and champion inclusive support, they do more than develop confidence, they protect wellbeing. And that benefits everyone.
About the author:
Caroline Green, RCDP, Assoc. CIPD, is an award winning career and talent coach and consultant. She is also an author of The Career Confidence Toolkit for Women (a guide for Coaches, CDPs and HR Professionals). She delivers coaching, training and retreat days to help women build their confidence and to support organisations to develop their staff and build inclusive workplaces, including for women without children.
Book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Career-Confidence-Toolkit-Women-Professionals/dp/1911724819
Website: https://www.thetalentcycle.co.uk/
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