Every leader faces moments that test both confidence and care. These can be when a colleague shares something personal, when performance is of concern or when tension quietly builds within the team. These moments can feel uncomfortable, unpredictable and full of emotion. Yet they are pivotal as they can impact trust, culture and leadership credibility from both a positive and negative perspective.
Sensitive conversations are where empathy meets accountability. They are a leadership discipline that underpins wellbeing, inclusion and sustainable performance.
This article explores why sensitive conversations matter and how leaders can approach them with both confidence and care. You will discover a simple, structured framework using the Situation–Behaviour–Impact (SBI) model to help you navigate challenging discussions while maintaining trust, clarity and care – plus practical steps to prepare, lead, and follow up effectively.
The cost of avoidance and the value of connection
It’s human nature to avoid discomfort. Many leaders admit to delaying tough conversations, hoping things will “settle down.” But silence is rarely neutral, in fact its volume is turned to maximum as it sends a message of its own.
Avoidance behaviours such as delay, deflect, downplay or ignoring can lead to:
- Rising employee stress, confusion, and resentment
- Loss of trust and psychological safety
- Missed opportunities to offer support early
Research consistently shows that avoiding or mishandling difficult conversations has measurable costs. The CIPD (2023) found that unresolved conflict and poor-quality relationships are key workplace stressors, undermining wellbeing, belonging and productivity. Similarly, Bravely’s 2023 “Conversation Gap” report revealed that 70% of employees avoid difficult conversations and more than half try to ignore toxic issues, a pattern strongly linked with declining engagement and reduced organisational trust.
Meanwhile, studies by De Dreu et al. (2022) demonstrate that conflict avoidance or poor communication patterns correlate with increased burnout and psychosomatic health complaints. In contrast, constructive, early dialogue significantly reduces those risks by rebuilding clarity and control.
When leaders address issues with clarity and compassion, they don’t just solve problems they create connection. When people feel heard, respected, and supported, even when challenged, they’re more likely to stay engaged, take ownership and grow.
And yet, having sensitive conversations don’t have to be complicated. There are several tools that can help us unlock the benefit and forge stronger and healthier work relationships.
A framework for confidence and care
Prepare with care → Talk using SBI → Follow up and support
1. Prepare with care
Don’t just dive in — prepare with intention.
Before you have the conversation spend some time preparing:
- Clarify your purpose: What outcome are you hoping for from the conversation?
- Know your facts: Gather relevant details and policies.
- Choose the right setting: Privacy and time matter.
- Check your mindset: Aim to understand, not to blame.
Preparation isn’t about scripting, its about grounding and having clarity. The calmer and clearer you are, the safer and more intentional the conversation feels.
2. Talk using the SBI Model (Situation – Behaviour – Impact)
Once you’re in the conversation, the how matters as much as what you say. The SBI model, developed by the Center for Creative Leadership, helps you stay factual, neutral and empathetic. Underpinning your conversation with a model such as this will give you confidence within the situation.
S – Situation: Be specific about what happened and when.
Example: “During the team meeting yesterday…”
B – Behaviour: Describe what you observed, focusing on facts, not personality.
Example: “You interrupted me a few times while I was sharing the project update.”
I – Impact: Explain how it affected you, the team, or the work.
Example: “It made it difficult to share key information, and I’m concerned it could cause confusion for others.”
Why it works:
- Keeps feedback neutral and reality-based
- Encourages shared accountability over blame
- Builds trust by staying constructive and curious
Recent research supports this need for structure. A 2024 study published in Benchmarking: An International Journal found that poorly managed behavioural conflict significantly reduces wellbeing through heightened emotional strain and negative affect. Structured, respectful communication, such as the SBI approach, helps prevent these emotional or defensive responses by grounding feedback in observable facts. It also gives you confidence in the situation!
3. Follow up and support
A single conversation rarely resolves everything. What happens next defines whether the conversation builds or breaks trust.
Afterwards:
- Summarise the key points and agreed actions
- Document appropriately, this helps to clarify expectations and protects everyone involved
- Check in again within a few days
If the topic feels complex or emotional, seek HR or wellbeing support early. Leadership doesn’t mean doing it alone.
A Harvard Business Publishing report (2023) warns that leaders who remain silent or “neutral” in moments of tension are often perceived as less trustworthy than those who address issues directly, even when opinions differ.
Putting it into practice: turning a difficult moment into a trust-building one
Scenario: A team member, Sam, has seemed disengaged — quieter in meetings and missing deadlines — and it’s starting to affect others.
Prepare: You clarify your intent — to understand the situation, not reprimand. You choose a private setting and check your own assumptions.
Talk Using SBI:
- Situation: “I’ve noticed over the past two weeks you’ve been quieter in meetings.”
- Behaviour: “You’ve also missed a few deadlines, which isn’t like you.”
- Impact: “I’m concerned this might be causing extra pressure on the team and on you.”
Sam opens up about feeling overwhelmed after a workload change. Together, you explore adjustments and support options.
Follow Up: You check in a week later — not to monitor, but to see how Sam’s doing. That consistency signals care, not control, and reinforces trust.
Leadership takeaways: confidence, clarity, and care
- Start early. Address signs of tension or disengagement before they grow.
- Balance empathy with clarity. Kindness without boundaries creates confusion; clarity without empathy creates fear.
- Use the SBI model. Structure doesn’t remove the human aspect in fact it increase it and gives you confirmed as a leader.
- Listen to understand, not to reply. People remember how you made them feel.
- Follow through. One good conversation, revisited with care, builds lasting credibility.
Building organisational confidence: embedding these skills into culture
For leaders and organisations seeking to shift culture, developing confidence in sensitive conversations can’t rely on individual goodwill alone. Confidence needs to be built into how the organisation leads, learns and connects.
In times of uncertainty and change, these skills become even more critical. When people are unsure about what’s happening or anxious about the future, silence can quickly breed fear and disengagement. Equipping leaders to have open, compassionate and timely conversations creates stability, trust and psychological safety. All of which are foundations of resilience and performance.
Practical steps can include:
- Normalise feedback: Make open dialogue a regular dynamic within the team, not only given as a reaction to problems.
- Training for managers and peers: Equip people at every level with tools like SBI and active listening to ensure consistency of approach.
- Create psychologically safe spaces: Encourage curiosity over judgment and recognise those who demonstrate empathy and accountability in action.
- Embed in change communication: Integrate these skills into leadership development, change management and wellbeing strategies so conversations remain honest and supportive, even in difficult moments.
- Align systems and leadership frameworks: Embed these expectations into performance, development and leadership standards.
When leaders model these skills, and organisations reinforce them through systems and culture, difficult conversations become a strength rather than a stressor. They turn uncertainty into understanding and change into opportunity, creating workplaces where people feel safe, valued and ready to perform at their best.
Leader’s reflection: a conversation worth having
What’s one conversation I’ve been avoiding — and what might shift if I approached it using the SBI model with both clarity and compassion?
Sensitive conversations aren’t about having perfect words, they are about showing up with courage, empathy and consistency. That’s how we turn hard moments into defining ones for ourselves, our teams and our culture.
Every conversation is a chance to model the culture you want to create.
About the author
Davina Jenkins is a Workplace Wellbeing Delivery Consultant at SuperWellness, helping organisations move beyond wellbeing as a standalone initiative — embedding it into the everyday culture of how people work, lead, and connect.
With over 25 years’ experience in leadership and team development, and a foundation in CIPD HR practice, Davina brings a deep understanding of how culture, behaviour and systems interact. She designs and delivers strategic, evidence-based programmes that empower leaders and employees to create environments where people feel safe, supported and inspired to perform at their best.
Her current work includes Leading Through Uncertainty — a culture change programme for senior leaders — alongside initiatives on Psychological Safety, Menopause Awareness, and Wellbeing Champion development. https://superwellness.co.uk/supporting-employee-wellbeing/for-senior-leaders/leading-through-uncertainty/
Davina believes that when organisations invest in the culture itself — not just the people within it — wellbeing becomes a natural driver of performance, engagement and long-term success.
References
- Bravely (2023). The Conversation Gap Report. Forbes Coaches Council.
- Center for Creative Leadership (CCL). Situation–Behavior–Impact (SBI)™ Feedback Model.
- CIPD (2023). Managing Conflict in the Workplace.
- De Dreu, C.K.W., van Dierendonck, D., & Dijkstra, M. (2022). Conflict at Work and Individual Well-Being. ResearchGate.
- Edmondson, A. (2019). The Fearless Organization. Wiley.
- Harvard Business Publishing (2023). Difficult Interactions: Silence, Trust and Leadership Learning.
- Sapien Labs (2024). Work Culture and Mental Wellbeing Rapid Report.
- Benchmarking: An International Journal (2024). Behavioural Conflict and Employee Well-Being.
- SuperWellness (2025). Free Workplace Wellbeing Events.
