I had a breakdown when I was 29, and it completely blindsided me. I never saw it coming, it just hit me one day. Even now, I’m not sure exactly how to define it, only that it showed up as constant panic attacks and the feeling that I was losing my mind.
My breakdown came out of nowhere
At the time, I worked at Uber head office and experienced severe panic attacks there, often ending up hiding in the bathroom because I felt too ashamed to tell anyone what was happening.
What’s crazy is that when I share this story with others, I’m baffled by how many people have similar experiences. The number of young people experiencing serious mental health struggles is deeply worrying.
Most people can’t afford private therapy, or simply don’t know where to start when trying to find someone to speak to, so many look to their employers for support. My initial experience of therapy was being allocated to a professional who didn’t quite understand me, and that can actually hinder healing. It took me years to find someone I genuinely clicked with, and that was when healing could finally begin.
Healing isn’t one-size-fits-all
For me, what helped was a blend of understanding the science behind panic attacks alongside breathing techniques and body awareness. These approaches help calm the body first, and then the mind follows. It sounds very simple, and I was sceptical at first, but I was desperate and willing to try anything.
Alongside that, talking therapy with a psychotherapist also helped enormously. She used a mixture of approaches including tapping techniques and inner child work. This gave me the tools to understand myself more deeply, anchor myself and slowly rebuild my mental strength, until the feelings of panic began to subside.
What I eventually realised was that the biggest factor wasn’t necessarily the specific type of therapy itself, but the relationship I had with the therapist.
Research consistently shows that the therapeutic relationship — sometimes referred to as the “therapeutic alliance” — is one of the strongest predictors of successful therapy outcomes. Studies have found that factors such as trust, empathy, collaboration and feeling understood often have a greater impact on progress than the particular therapeutic model being used.
One of the most widely cited researchers in this area, psychologist Dr Bruce Wampold, found through decades of psychotherapy research that the quality of the relationship between therapist and client is a stronger predictor of positive outcomes than the method of therapy itself. Similarly, a large body of research published by the American Psychological Association concluded that the therapeutic alliance is consistently linked to improved outcomes across many different types of therapy.
When you feel emotionally safe, seen and understood by someone you trust, healing becomes far more possible.
Building Heard
This understanding led me to build Heard, an on-demand therapy platform designed to help people find the right therapist for them.
On Heard, users can get matched with therapists, watch introduction videos and schedule free consultations before committing, giving them more agency in their healing journey and increasing the chances of finding someone they genuinely connect with.
While building the platform with my co-founder, I decided to taper off antidepressants that I had been taking for years. I hadn’t had a panic attack for over a year, so I thought it was the right time.
It was a very humbling experience.
The chemical imbalance from coming off the medication made me feel like I was falling off a cliff. I experienced simultaneous waves of panic, dizziness and the fear that I was losing my mind again. Those feelings also triggered memories of the year I had spent mentally unwell, which only intensified the fear.
Thankfully, I was able to ride it out with the support of a trusted therapist and by returning to the grounding techniques I had learned previously.
Why I’m speaking about this now
I’m now on a mission to help others access the kind of support that changed my life.
We are currently working with Timpson and Berry Bros. & Rudd to support their employees with mental health care, and we’re already seeing encouraging results.
I wish I could reach anyone struggling with anxiety or panic attacks and tell them this: you can get better, you have nothing to be ashamed of, and you can lead a normal life agai
You might also like:
